Inside the Brain of Mu'ammar Al-Qaddafi

Mu'ammar Al-Qaddafi has been laying pretty low for the last twenty years, and I can only guess that Libya's "Brother Leader and Guide of the Revolution" grew tired of allowing his fellow dictators to corner the market on craziness. Well, not to worry because on June 11, 2008, Qaddafi decided to share his thoughts with the world. Buckle up, everyone, because this one is going to be a bumpy ride!

"It has been proven that there is no democracy in [the U.S.]. Rather, it is a dictatorship no different than the dictatorships of Hitler, Napoleon, Mussolini, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, and the rest of the tyrants."

A wobbly start. Invoking Hitler is not exactly the most creative approach, though you have to respect the Genghis Khan name-drop. You don't hear many folks comparing the U.S. to Genghis Khan. The Mongols were pretty bad-ass so that can't be all negative, right? Okay, let's hear the reasoning as to why there is no democracy in this lovely country of ours.

"In the days of crazy Reagan, the American president issued a presidential order to launch a war against Libya, for example, a presidential order to besiege Libya, a presidential order to boycott Libya, and so on. Is this a democracy or a dictatorship?"

I'm going to go with "republic" (because that's, like, what the Constitution says, and stuff), but that's a topic for another day. In any event, the "logic" employed here is just priceless (as is the irony of Qaddafi referring to "crazy" Reagan -- projection, anyone??). But let's follow the reasoning. The U.S. gave Libya its comeuppance so that makes the U.S. a dictatorship. This is ironclad. I have no response.

"There are elections in America now. Along came a black citizen of Kenyan African origins, a Muslim, who had studied in an Islamic school in Indonesia. His name is Obama.

"All the people in the Arab and Islamic world and in Africa applauded this man. They welcomed him and prayed for him and for his success, and they may have even been involved in legitimate contribution campaigns to enable him to win the American presidency."

I have no doubt that the butchers in Darfur are just jumping with joy at the thought of Barack Obama becoming President. Obama is not Muslim. And he by no means "studied" at an Islamic school (except in the sense that the student body was mostly Muslim at some schools he attended before he was ten). One would think that a powerful crazy dictator would be able to get his news from someplace more reliable than email forwards.

"But we were taken by surprise when our African Kenyan brother [Obama], who is an American national, made statements that shocked all his supporters in the Arab world, in Africa, and in the Islamic world."

"We hope that this is merely an elections 'clearance sale,' as they say in Egypt - in other words, merely an elections lie. As you know, this is the farce of elections - a person lies and lies to people, just so that they will vote for him, and afterwards, when they say to him, 'You promised this and that,' he says: 'No, this was just elections propaganda.' This is the farce of democracy for you. He says: 'This was propaganda, and you thought I was being serious. I was fooling you to get your votes.'

"Allah willing, it will turn out that this was merely elections propaganda. Obama said he would turn Jerusalem into the eternal capital of the Israelis. This indicates that our brother Obama is ignorant of international politics, and is not familiar with the Middle East conflict." [...]

Don't worry, he backtracked. Barack's no Zionist Lapdog like I am. Now we get to the real good stuff.

"We thought he would say: 'I have decided that if I win, I will monitor the Dimona nuclear plant, and the other WMDs in Israeli's possession.' We expected him to make such a decision. He undoubtedly had this in mind. When he talked about Iran and its nuclear program, he undoubtedly had Dimona in mind.

"But when he was thinking about Dimona, he undoubtedly had the fate of former president Kennedy on his mind as well. Kennedy decided to monitor the Dimona nuclear plant. He insisted on doing so, in order to determine whether or not it produces nuclear weapons. The Israelis refused, but he insisted.

"This crisis was resolved with the resignation of Ben-Gurion. He resigned so he would not have to agree to the monitoring of the Dimona plant, and he gave the green light for the killing of Kennedy.

"Kennedy was killed because he insisted on the monitoring of the Dimona plant. This image was undoubtedly on Obama's mind. He undoubtedly wanted to talk about this, but decided not to."[...]

I'm inclined just to let this sit on its own. Read it. Digest it. And reflect on just how big a secret freaking Dimona has been over the years. Lee Harvey Oswald, Zionist Lapdog?

"We expected him to say: 'If I win, I will implement the one-state solution - the "Isratine" which appears in Qaddafi's White Book.' This idea constitutes the final, deep-rooted, and historic solution. It is impossible to establish two midget-states in this area. What kind of country is only 15 km deep? The so-called Israel is only 15 km deep. What kind of a country is this?

"There are five million Palestinians there. We expected Obama to say: 'I've decided to return millions of Palestinian refugees to the land of Palestine, from which they were expelled in 1948 and 1967.' This is the 'change' that the peoples applaud, the change that the American people - and the black people in America - want.

"We expected him to say: 'I will strive for the independence and unity of the Kurdish nation. This nation must take its place under the sun in the Middle East.' The Kurdish nation is torn apart, tormented, and persecuted, and is colonized by everyone. He should have supported it, instead of supporting the collaborators, while sacrificing the future of the Kurdish nation. This is 'change.'" [...]

We expected him to say "Death to America! Death to Israel!" That's the change the American people (especially African-Americans, I guess) want. Mu'ammar Al-Qaddafi: a man with his finger on the pulse of America.

"The thing we fear most is that the black man suffers from an inferiority complex. This is dangerous. If our brother Obama feels that because he is black he doesn't have the right to rule America, this would be a disaster, because such a feeling would make him act whiter than the white, and go to an extreme in his persecution and degradation of the blacks."

My first impression after hearing Obama speak? Inferiority complex. It's possible that this is a translation issue, but you have to adore how Qaddafi believes that if he becomes President, Obama will "rule" America.

"We say to him: Brother, the whites and blacks in America are equal. They are all immigrants. America belongs neither to the whites nor to the blacks. America belongs to its original inhabitants, the Indians. Both the whites and the blacks immigrated to America, and so they are equal, and Obama has the right to hold his head high, and say: 'I am a partner in America. This is my land as much as it is yours. If it is not my land, it is not yours either. It is the land of the Indians. You are immigrants, and so are we.'"[...]

So we should all prostrate ourselves before the Indians, our rightful lords and masters?

"We are still hoping that this black man will take pride in his African and Islamic identity, and in his faith, and that [he will know] that he has rights in America, and that he will change America from evil to good, and that America will establish relations that will serve it well with other peoples, especially the Arabs."

He has no "Islamic identity." You are a crazy person. And why should he change America from evil to good? As Mel Brooks taught us over twenty years ago, evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb!